no regrets, just love

Merel - Eighteen - Dutch - Nerdfighter -Huffleclaw
Language & Communication major
OITNB, Disney, theatre, Glee cast & music enthousiast

 ~warbler(s) flying around

© gif made by Hugo Registered & Protected


It’s Monday. I’m going home at 6pm and a middle aged man and a teenage boy are the only people left on the bus with me. I consider the fact that because the driver is also a man I am the only person left on the bus with the correct genetic makeup for boobs. I’m automatically scared, scared because of my own anatomy. I wonder how old I was when I realized that my own body was going to be the cause of the constant anxiety and fear I feel in situations like this. I get off at the last stop and the older man smiles at me while following me up the street. His smile drips, drips, drips and my heart is pounding, pounding, pounding. He turns off down another road, but I run the rest of the way home.

Not all men.

I’m at home on a Tuesday, beginning to plan the travels I want to go on next year. I dream of wandering the streets and meeting strangers. I just can’t wait to escape the city I’ve lived in for 17 long years. But… my mum is hesitant. She’s forever worried about the danger that being a young girl traveling alone can bring. I’ll be alone and she’s scared. Surely I’m invincible. I feel invincible. But I know, I know this danger is real and I can’t help but think to myself, if I feel unsafe in my own city, how am i going to feel in a strange place with strange men who don’t speak the same language as me? If I was my brother planning this, I would probably just be wondering if European girls are going to be hot.

Not all men.

Wednesday is a beautiful sunny day but I’ve always been told that I don’t have a “nice enough body” to wear a bikini on the beach. Ever since I was 6 years old I’ve thought that having tummy fat was ugly. That skin that doesn’t have a perfectly golden glow is undesirable. I amble to a clear patch of sand in my one piece and I can feel pairs of eyes latching onto me. Hairy men in speedos who I don’t look twice at eat into my body with their stares. I’m a piece of meat. I am a piece of meat? I am here for their amusement. Please don’t let me be eaten alive.

Not all men.

Thursday night two friends and I are walking to our god damn school dance when we hear “Jesus look at you! You sluts heading to a pole?” These words snarl out of the mouth of a respectably dressed man and we stop in horror. Shivers roll up my back in fear. It’s dark. We are alone. What. Do. We. Do??? One of us pulls the finger back. I can never be sure how quickly a sexist man can get angry so we walk quickly away. We’re angry, so so angry. But also so… deflated. I wonder if we deserve this shame.

Not all men.

Sitting on the internet, Friday night and scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed:

“Haha, good job at the game today bro. You RAPED them!”
“Damn with tits like that, you’re asking for it :P”

Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…
Another sexist comment…

I’m shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and I want to CRY because these boys don’t realize how small they make me feel with just pressing a few keys. I see these boys on the streets, I talk to these boys, I laugh with these boys. Dear GOD, dear GOD I hope these boys don’t think actions speak louder than words…

Not all men.

Three rules that have been drilled into me since I was young run through my mind at 1.30am on a Satur… Sunday Morning:

-Don’t ever talk to strange men
-Don’t ever be alone at night in a strange place
-Don’t ever get into a car with a stranger

I break all 3 of these laws as I pull open the taxi door. Making light conversation with the driver, he doesn’t see my sweaty hand clutching the small pocket knife I keep hidden on me at all times. He doesn’t even realize the fear I feel at his mere presence. He cannot comprehend it, he never will. How easy would this 15 minute car ride be if I was born a boy?

Not all men.

It comes to Sunday, another snoozy, sleepy, Sunday and someone has the AUDACITY to tell me not all men are rapists. I say nothing.

I’m a 17 year old girl.
When I am walking alone and it’s dark, it’s all men.
When I am in a car with a man I don’t know well, it’s all men.
When men drunkenly leer at me on the streets, it’s all men.
When a boy won’t leave me alone at a party, it’s all men.

Not all men are rapists. But for a young girl like me? Every one of them has the potential to be.


— a piece i wrote for an english assignment about my personal experiences with rape culture, in particular with the saying “not all men” which i know has been making a lot of controversy on the internet recently! idk just wanted to share (via lehnsherres)

Theyll come backBecause well need them to.

tags: #glee cast

Glee Cast being Glee Cast again, taking selfies, having fun, causing riots

person: Broadway is stupid
Me: aggressively tap dances away from your bullshit


me: *doesn’t start hw until 10 pm*

me: *at 10:15 pm* i am dROWNing in sCHOOL work why do teachers do this to me I hATE THis cruel WORLD look at all of THE iNJUSTICE 

DarrenCriss: Sweaty and reppin @umich after my first dance rehearsal of our final season of #glee #GleeSeason6

DarrenCriss: Sweaty and reppin @umich after my first dance rehearsal of our final season of #glee #GleeSeason6

So, Birgit basically ordered me to do all the questions of the post I reblogged yesterday, so here I go.

Blue:What song do you listen to when you’re feeling down? : Depends on why, but usually The Common Linnets, Fleetwood Mac and the song Pumping Blood make me feel a bit more happy.

Cup:Do you drink Tea or Coffee? : Tea. Always.

English:How many languages can you speak?: 2. With a teeny tiny bit of French and Italian.

Fear:Tell us three fears.:
1) Ending up alone 2) Getting hurt 3) Losing family members/ close friends

Game:What was the last board game you played?: Mens-erger-je-niet!

Harry Potter:What was the last book you read?: The Fault in Our stars (again.)

Injury:Have you ever walked into a glass door?: Yes. In a maze of glass so it kinda makes sense.

Jump:Do five jumping jacks/star jump.: Grr. okay okay.

Kiss:Who’s your biggest celebrity crush?: Darren Criss.

Love:Do you believe in marriage?: I do.

Money:What would you do with 1 million dollars?: Buy myself a house in Amsterdam, travel around the world, invest in third world loans.

Naughty:Tell us three things that your parents disapprove of?
1. Laziness 2. Lies 3. Being late

Oops:What is one thing you’d like to change/fix?: To have more self-discipline. 

Picture:Post a pic of your lovely face.:ghehe, it’s somewhere on my blog already, you just need to search.

Quality:Name three of your favourite blogs.: Don’t really have a couple, I enjoy the posts of all the people I follow. 

Rapunzel:Name three Disney movies that you adore.
1) Tangled 2) Frozen 3) Beauty and the Beast

Star-sign:When’s your birthday?: November 27th.

Teacher:What do you aspire to be? Happy.

Unite:Do you sponsor a cause? Yes, several.

Varsity:Do you play/watch sport? Dancing for life! I enjoy watching loads of sports, I’m just not that good at them. 

Xylophone:Do you play an instrument? A bit of piano and a bit of guitar!

Yellow:What’s your favourite colour? Purple or red. 




I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?


me: *sniffs air*
me: ah september
me: the time where bugs die
me: and tv shows gradually return from hiatus
me: aaah